


Leap of Faith

by magicasen



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Fix-It of Sorts, M/M, Minor Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-01
Updated: 2019-06-01
Packaged: 2020-04-06 05:56:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19056589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magicasen/pseuds/magicasen
Summary: You couldn't change your past, but the desire to change it didn't leave. It was the same drive behind a genius inventing the technology to play through every turn of an unchanging memory, running daydreams into exhaustion, holding out for impossible chances.Steve's chance comes now, when he opens the door.





	Leap of Faith

**Author's Note:**

> A bit of a thought exercise I had while thinking on the aftermath of Endgame and the state of Steve's mind. 
> 
> Nothing is explicitly romantic, hence using the / and & tags. I went for a stricter interpretation of canon here, which is still a lot, when it comes to these two. 
> 
> Thank you to Kiyaar for the super helpful beta ❤

Steve Rogers is unbearably acquainted with nostalgia. It's difficult enough, letting things go and moving on for well-adjusted people. It's worse when you're a stubborn bastard and that's exactly what the world needs from you. After the ice, it was Peggy with her sharp eyes and sharper mind that wasn't cowed by any measure of hardheadedness. 

It's been eighteen months since Steve's trip back with the Stones and his final leap back. Having the real thing, which is wonderful beyond belief, doesn't diminish how much the yearning had gripped him once. 

But now, Steve's yearning turns elsewhere. Now, it's Natasha and her wry smile she has worked so hard to come by honestly, her and her red-rimmed, tired, seeking eyes she allowed Steve to see when she finally tired of putting on pretenses. Now, it's Tony, and his— 

Tony, and the constant challenge to get him to meet Steve's eyes, one that Steve never gave up, because when Tony Stark paid you his full attention, the world around you fell away. Or maybe it was something unique to the two of them. How together, they could expand to fill the space of the moment and whatever mattered.

“ _This is the fight of our lives. And we're going to win. Whatever it takes.”_

_ Tony smiles his lopsided grin at Steve, and it's different now, as something hollow settles beneath Steve's breastbone.  _

“ _Whatever it takes.”_

The chime of the doorbell jolts Steve back to reality. His reality. No aliens or gods, no need to repeat conversations a thousand times over in his head, wondering how they could have gone differently. Wishing. You couldn't change your past, but the desire to change it didn't leave. It was the same drive behind a genius inventing the technology to play through every turn of an unchanging memory, running daydreams into exhaustion. 

Steve's chance comes now, when he opens the door.

“I can't believe you. The only thing you took back here was that piece of crap phone? When I scanned for out-of-date tech, I was expecting to find something seventy years out of date, not fifty.” After blurting the words out, Tony lets out a swift breath, every single micro-expression on his face coming through in slow motion: surprise, joy, fear, guilt, relief. He looks the exact same as the last time Steve had seen him, the same as he shows up in Steve's nightmares and dreams. 

Maybe Steve can say it's like when he first saw the Winter Soldier unmasked. But this time around, he remembers, like a brand, when, how, why he lost Tony. No ambiguity of it, of the light of Tony's arc reactor giving out, leaving behind half of a charred body and half of Steve's soul with it.

“What...?”

“Sorry about the shock,” Tony offers. “Delight, I hope. And for keeping you waiting for so long.”

Steve's been without Tony for longer. He didn't see Tony for two years after the Accords, with only brief encounters in the five years after their first run-in with Thanos. But their final days spent together at the compound still feel more real than any of the years spent apart. 

“Cap?” Tony tries again, and some of his facade is cracking. It's only fair, because Steve's a smile and a touch from falling to pieces. 

“Steve? Who's at the door?” 

They startle, and a wave of guilt and shame crashes through Steve's shock. 

He turns around, and Peggy rounds the corner. When she sees Tony, she smiles, like she always does when she sees Steve forming the new bonds she urges him to have. 

“Good morning,” Peggy says, a touch more wary after taking in Tony's outfit and facial hair. He's out of place, but Tony never blends in, even in his home time. “I don't believe we've been introduced.” There's an expectant pause, ready for Steve to swoop in and make them be acquainted. 

“You could say that me and Cap have that sort of history.” Tony breaks the silence by extending his hand for a handshake, and Peggy takes a half-aborted step back at the flagrant offer. 

“Cap, is it?” she says. I haven't heard that nickname in a while, not since Steve retired.” 

“It's just a habit,” Tony says smoothly. “Sorry, Steve.” 

Hearing his name on Tony's lips start up Steve's heart again, but now it beats in double time when he looks back for Tony. Steve's eyes sting, and he swallows thickly. Peggy's watching him, he knows, and Tony isn't, but he can't look away. 

“Come in, please,” Peggy finally says, gently pushing Steve aside to make room for Tony to enter. 

“I don't know if that's—” Tony's voice trails off as Peggy takes a step back from the threshold. “I can't exactly stay.” 

Steve's still watching Tony, who's very much avoiding it. Tony's hesitation doesn't withstand Peggy's scrutiny. He shrugs, slinking in, hands shoved in his pockets. 

“Let me get your coat.” 

Tony waves the offer away, spinning around while backing up. “Actually, that has to stay on.” 

“Feel free to make yourself at home in the drawing room,” Peggy tells him sweetly. Her tone has Tony scrambling, bumping his shoulder against the wall before disappearing around the corner into the room.

She turns to Steve, careful but gentle as her fingers rest on his arm. “Another fugitive, is it? I'm usually the one who brings those home. He's...unique. I'm not sure how he got into undercover work, when he's that open.”

He's not. Steve learned that long ago and too late, that Tony was very good at making you see exactly what he wanted you to see. 

“Are you alright?” Peggy whispers. 

She knows of the time travel, and of too many ways the future turns south that Steve couldn't keep secret. But Steve hadn't wanted to share personal details, and she'd never pressed. Just like he kept the memory of Peggy close to his chest in the future, so too, he keeps the Avengers in his heart here. 

She doesn't know about Tony.

“I— I don't know why he's here.”  _ How he's here.  _

“Well,” Peggy says, “sounds to me like he needs your help. You've earned his trust. I hope he's earned yours. ” 

Steve gives a short nod, throat closing up. “I thought he was dead.” 

Peggy tenses up before sighing, and her hand squeezes Steve's arm.

“I thought you were dead once, too,” she says. Steve will never forget the way she looked at him when he showed up on her doorstep after being dead a year—he sees it again here. “I hope this is a pleasant surprise.” 

Steve reaches up, covering Peggy's hand with his own. “Yeah,” he says, and in that instant he needs to see Tony again. It's been a minute too long since the last time. He pulls Peggy's hand away, and she tenses immediately. 

“I'll go make drinks.” She clasps her hands together tightly, before offering him a small, wistful smile that makes Steve's stomach twist in guilt. “But I'll go get something from the attic first. Take your time.” 

Steve pauses in the doorway to the living room. 

Tony's fumbling with his hands, lacing and twisting them together. Tony looks up, and they both feel his jolt of surprise. He makes to rise from his chair, before he thinks better of it, shifting his weight and glancing to the side. He's not wearing his usual glasses. Steve watches his eyelashes flutter over his cheeks when he blinks, his every movement wild and alive. 

_ I watched you stop moving forever. I carried your casket. I made a eulogy you never heard.  _

“Tony.” It feels like an admission. “I'm sorry.” 

Tony snaps his head around to face him. “Me too,” he says gently, and Steve's heart aches with it. 

“How are you—” alive is too blunt—“here?” 

Tony flinches. “It's a long story,” he says carefully, eyes flitting to behind Steve toward the hallway. “Not at courtesy to share with anyone who hasn't taken their spin through the Quantum Realm.”

“She can keep a secret,” Steve retorts. Tony should already know that. 

“I don't doubt it. But for the uninvolved bystanders, it's more a matter of safety over trust right now. The less anyone knows, the better.” Tony runs his hands over his face slowly, before leaning back. “I'll cut to the chase, Steve. It's urgent.” 

“The fight was never over. You're here to bring Captain America back to it, right?” Steve asks, but not like it's a question.

Tony purses his lips and lets out a breath. “It wasn't the best idea to take the pit stop here, but it's an unexpected place in the timeline. Throws my pursuers off my trail, but I can't hide my tracks for long, not from Kang. I don't have much time left here, Steve,” he admits. “But maybe none of us will, soon, if we lose.” He shakes his head. “But hey, there's a lot of Avengers on our side. I just thought that maybe—You can say no, if you like. God knows you deserve it.”

Steve watches Tony's Adam's apple bob as he works out what to say next. Steve waits for it. His body's thrumming with it, waiting for Tony to say it: _I_ _need you_ , not _I needed you_ or _you weren't there_. Steve thinks he needs to hear it more than Tony needs to admit it.

“You have something good here,” Tony starts. “And, I'm happy for you, for reaching this point. I understand if you wouldn't want to double back.” 

Tony's right. Steve's gone a long way to reach this point. What he's found here is beautiful. But, even here, he's still running away. 

Steve reaches a hand out.

Tony lets himself be pulled up, and Steve's whole being sings with the contact. He holds Tony in place, and this is it, their gazes meet, and it figures Tony the futurist could even make the past belong to him.

“You said it's not a matter of trust, for people who don't become involved. And the people who do? I think trust is the most important part, if this is happening.” 

Tony blinks at him. “And? Do you trust me?” 

In the past or future, Steve's never met anyone like Tony Stark. He's not going to hold back from his second chance. 

“I never stopped,” Steve says. 

He wonders if he's dreaming. He wonders if it's the Reality Stone somehow, giving him everything he wants, only for it to be taken away. It's that idea that gets him to tug at Tony's hand. Tony gives in easily to the pull, his arms going around his back as Steve buries his face into Tony's shoulder. Steve's never had this before, and he tightens his arms, holding Tony close. Tears seep through his closed eyes and his body trembles. This is real. This is his.

“Thank you,” Steve mumbles. He's not sure if Tony heard. 

“Mm. At this point, I really should get used to getting tears and snot all over me.” The soft way Tony says it, it's not a complaint.

“I'm almost ready with those drinks,” Peggy calls out from the kitchen as a warning.

Steve pulls back from Tony, whose gaze is soft and understanding. “I'll get you back home,” Tony whispers, “I swear.” 

Steve thinks Tony's already brought home back to him, as Tony's hands slide over Steve's, securing the time watch over his right hand.

“Of course,” he calls back to her. “Just, give us five seconds.” 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Catch me on twitter at [magicasen](https://twitter.com/magicasen)!


End file.
